Last Friday of 2010 (NYE)

And with the last day of 2010, it seems almost obligatory to do a year's review and expectations for the new year.

I remember blogging on the last Wednesday of 2009. I was also on this bus. On the way to work. My most reflective quiet moment. That 35-40 mins bus ride on the expressway. I was always able to get a seat as I board at the 2nd bus stop from the interchange. :)

And before I continue to digress yet again, yup 2010. These are some of the highlights off my head:

1. Got married
2. Went to the United States of America ( Minnesota, Texas, Atlanta) for almost a month.
3. Road trip with Hanwen
4. Scaled Mountain Kinabalu: 4902 km I think. With my sister, brother, clara, may, Meryl
5. Went Tokyo for price negotiation with supplier.
6. Started dog photography- Junior & Nemo
7. Promotion at work.
8. Tried on my first bridal gown
9. Drove alone to outlet malls in Austin, Texas
10. Went tubing at lake, stayed in caravan!

I couldn't quite think of anything else so I have to stop listing.

Personal development wise, I don't find myself better this year. I would want to better improve on that . Tho, I think this is highly subjective and there are no quantifiable metrics involved.

Moving forward, I still have 2 major projects I can think of:

a) doing up our apartment! This alone is a huge project

b) sky -diving! ( my plan to complete before I'm 30 or lose my guts, which ever comes first)
my big plan to complete these 3 things before hitting 30: diving, mountain climbing, sky-diving!

c) our wedding.

d) save money!! This used to be my new year resolutions when I was a kid. This, along with love my family more with each day! Funny how I seem to put it behind as I grew older. Okay! :) time to put them back on!

That should sum up my year end thoughts and hopes for 2011.

Happy new year, hooey! May you grow wiser in 2011. Love and understand more.

(Lake travis sunset, Austin)


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Excitement seeing something for the first time!!

Yup, despite me taking on a rather last minute, rather nonchalant attitude towards this wedding preparation, I'm pleasantly surprised to know I'm looking forward to seeing my custom-made bridal gown!

Yes, I have not done much wedding planning posts, and I reckon if I don't start blogging at least on this importAnt milestone in every gal's life ( most girl's life), the next thing I know... It's over!

So yup, like a girl meeting a date for the first time, I'm smiling and excited to see what the designer has come up! Of cos, it's probably not fully complete but I am really looking forward to the visit to the bridal studio later! Not so much of planning the design of my evening gown tho.... Abit hopeless. Know not what I want. (spoken like yoda)


Tata!


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My year's performance matrix

As it's time for me to do my work's evaluation for the year, tallying the score which, will ultimately affect my performance bonus, I sat on the ride to work thinking, how I have performed in my life for the chapter of 2010.

It's easier to write down my contributions and discuss about projects done for work as we each spend a siginificant half if not more of our waking hours in it. So much so, our identity has taken on, evolved from who we are at work, what we do rather than what we can be as a person.

I got the red little book yesterday. I thought and I want to do a score card for 2010 and start a new metric for 2011.A conscious effort just like what I do for work. And when it's reminder time from HR to do my appraisal, I will take it as my cue to review my score card.

More often than not, I am influenced by what others think.

The Asian pride is in me. Do well, but not too well that you outshine and feel uncomfortable.
It's lonely at the top, don't go up there even if you could.

Complain if that's the team's culture and not yours. If u can't convince u join.

These are all going against what I have been working towards.

I'm optimistic because I want to and it makes me happy rather than dwell in the heaps of work and unhappiness. Like what colin turner said in "born to succeed"- " happiness involves having the courage to live in the life you chose for yourself. Becoming what you really want to become and doing what you really want to do is available through your freedom of choice"

In a way, it can be that I love myself and my life too much to spend it frowning. And for that, I am thankful. I like to spread tis knowledge to others because it makes me happy.

So that I got thus mindset( not to sound too preachy) I need to establish my goals, coz knowing myself, this self-fed mentality will not last long if there are not actions and goals to sustain and grow my happiness.

Hmmmm these are the 14 mins of my thoughts for today.:)



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Eat, pray, love

I know people have told me how this show has gotten bad reviews and how it's not worth watching.

Despite so, I decided to still pursue and watch it with one of my fav gals in the world- Von teng. She too, is a Julia fan and was one of the enthusiastic few when I suggested watching it.

It too has dawned on me that I have not done a movie review for a long while and with my recent solemnization ceremony just two days ago, I have quite a few thoughts in my head.

First and fortmost, I'm married. Somehow, I find myself whispering that in my head these few days. As though I'm testing the words, figuring the words in my head, piecing them together and now writing it out together. Formalizing it.

Yup, married to Allan as mrs lim. It's strange, unfamiliar and yet, it feels secure. Weird sensation at times. We both feel a little pressure, a little nervy. I knew that's how Allan felt cos I chanced upon his message to his boys. Saying despite the pressure, there's more joy than stress, cos it helps knowing that I'm going to be one going along the path with him. ;) *smiling with my liver*

We like the ceremony. We love the music, the settings and how comfortable it made us and most of our friends feel. We love all our friends' wishes and gifts, gracing our ceremony with their presence was really special already.

I can't wait for gilbert's pictures to see the other sides of the day I've missed out which he's captured.

Oh, my first task as mrs Allan: learn to play dota. Using crystal maiden.:p

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Emotions

"I was made to thread the water, and now I have gotten in too deep"

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Changed Look: The Blog

Thinks it's time the blog takes on a new look as i start to prepare to embark a new phase in my life- Marriage.

Yesterday marks a really interesting, thought-provoking event as the fiance and I attended the Pre-Marriage course. I added in my facebook profile that i felt like " Mr and Mrs Smith" because we spent 8 hours on this couch with the counsellor/ expert, let's call him Mr X, who asked us questions, exploring our relationship, view points, making us share some personal, intimate details.

I guess Mr X is now the 3rd person in the world who knows more about us other than us.

If there's one key take-away from the course, it would be...remember: "you sacrifice yourself, not for the other person, but for the relationship"

If i ever find myself in a situation where i have to compromise, do not think it's because i've lost and the other party's won, you do so.. because of the relationship, not because of him vice versa.

Whatever we do from now on, it's all for the good for the relationship.

The moment we say " i do", we are one. We were two individuls, but we are now going to do everything, discuss everything as one.

We do have certain agreements as a couple when we did the questionaire/ personality tests.=)

What the Mr X really appreciate about allan is that, when asked why he doesn pick up a quarrel or why he doesn flare up when i may seem unreasonable, the reason allan gave, was :
" it's not i couldn continue the quarrel, or rebutt her to win the argument, I just dont see the value in prolonging the fight, or making her upset further, when it's some small issue"....

I teared for the 2nd time i hear this. I teared the first time i heard this when he first said that to me in the car not too long ago, when i was worried about him, having not really flared up at me before, was thinking aloud if he might just be a dormant volcano and i will have no idea what he's really after marriage. *finger crossed*

That's where Mr X, nodded in agreement and added " Pick your fight". Do not choose to fight all the time and win for the sake for winning. Conflicts are bound to be present, but if you must fight, Fight for something meaningful, not petty stuffs.

He has his flaws, I had mine, but knowing he's going to be the one who's going to tolerate me for the rest of my life, makes me feel thankful.

I also noted, in the course of this relationship, more often than not, i find myself wanting the fiance to improve this, to improve that. And yet, one thing i'm so appreciative of him is that, he never asks for me to really change, although he do has his fair share of complaints for me. He's concerned about my health, some of my eating habits, but all in all, he really appreciates me for who i am.

We might not be prepared to know everything that's coming our way, but we covered some grounds? Some scope of what marriage encompass and while we dont fully complement each other, ( we even failed in some aspects, if you based on figures), it's assuring to know, even after Mr X's blunt discussions and questions, scary facts, statistics, after sharing some really personal experiences, we were still smiling at each other, Freaked by some stuffs, but still hand-in hand as we left the centre.

And like the movie in Evan Almighty ( which i'm watching as i blog), even when your partner can confuse you with some bizzare actions, words; even when your partner seems to be going through some tough times, when times are hard.. stay by him/ her. A famly stays together no matter what, and be supportive of each other.

Quote from the movie: "When someone pray for patience, do you think God gives them patience, or does he give them the opportunity to be patience?"

Very meaningful.

Gosh, I think this can be my wedding vows if i continue my train of thoughts...

******

Wedding Update:
a) Bridal Package- Settled
b) ROM Make up- Settled
c) Photography - not yet
d) ROM Dress- not yet
e) Music - not yet
f) Readiness- <50%
g) Mental Strength- climbing up!=)

My very thoughts-ful day

I have been staring in this page, when i've been trying to gather all my thoughts all day and then convince myself that i will be fine after releasing all these inner-thoughts from my head.

Ok, now to take a pause from these and go down to get a milk. Be right back.

Back from my short walk to the convenience store.. and thought it would be best to summarize my thoughts for today.

1) Integrity seems to be everything..
2) I miss my hall life
3) As one grows older, one has lesser friends to meet up and hang out with
4) A hug is all that is make me feel better...
5) Toasting to a cup of milk with your loved ones at the end of the day, him with his soya milk, me with my chocolate milk. A way to make those blues away.=)

Love,

Hooey

Austin thoughts

it's 8.41 am now, and i'm at a free internet kiosk at the Austin International Airport. Sad they dont offer free wifi, cos i would be able to settle into a comfy spot with my laptop, and not standing with my neck all strained with my bags beside me. Ha, but i should not complain as the ride to the airport was smooth and i was able to return the rented car without much hassle. Grateful.

Just that i got in here way too early, andit's 2 more hours before my flight to Atlanta! Last leg of my US trip, beginning of my holidays!

I just log on facebook but was unable to find anyone online to chat. I bought a DVD to watch in the event i got bored but i left it in the check in bag. Duh!

And i know i probably will not be able to hog the kiosk for too long. Actually, no one is around, but tmy legs cant take it much longer. On the other hand, i'm afraid i fall asleep!

Mylast night in Austin was great. Oliver showed me around Down Town Austin. We hiked around Town Lake. It was just so relaxed and the sights were so pretty. We then went on to see dinner at TGIF near the bridge where we were able to watch for Bats! Yes, there's a colony of Bats living in downtown Austin and people from all over the world gather to watch them as they fly out of the bridge just moments after sun set. However, as the summers' daylightwas long, it was rather dark and late n=by the time the bats came out.

And top it all, i had the chance to breeze through sixth street checking out Texas music as Oliver drove me back to my hotel. All in all, i'm so glad i've kinda completed the key things/ highlights of Austin Texas and add in those nature charms. I like seeing folks jogging around the town lake, known as ladybird lake. I lilke seeing dogs running after their owners. Owners playing fetch with their dogs, people training for their marathon, kids playing in the green green grass, folks rowing their canoes, kayaks and race boats, cyclists, different birds chirpping. Gosh, it was a great feeling to be in the midst of all these. at that instance, i felt i was part of it all, and yet, also an observer. It's incredible.

And let's not forget the sunset. i love the sunset in Austin. I love sunset fullstop. However, Austin offers a great view, and as you just watch sunset each day, you cant help appreciating life and mother nature in all it's glory. No matter how busy, and tired, homesick one may be, watching the sunset just makes me feel at ease. at least for me. =)

Well well, i haveabout 1.5 hours to go. Wish me luck as i end this post.

Live Well,Laugh Often, Love Lots.

US thoughts.. while in USA

So, i'm blogging from Austin hotel right now, on a Saturday late afternoon after my lunch with Joe.

This is a lovely place i've gotten, with its own stove, oven and dish-washer ( which i didnt even notice until i spoke to my parents on skype and shared with them via web-cam). So much for being domesticated huh.

So, i'm into my third week in USA. My first trip to USA so far. And it's been great! Some of the highlights include:

1) Watching a Major League BaseBall Game ( Twins vs Cleveland)

2) Camping at a lake in a Proper Camper, having Smores over a fire, tubing in the lake ( Knife's River)

3) Dipping my feet in cold water of Lake Superior ( the World's Largest Fresh water lake)

4) Hike at Gooseberry Falls State Park

5) Shopping at Albertville ( Minnesota Outlet Malls)

6) Dining at the docks beside the river at StillWater

7) Feed seagulls at Duluth ( USA's major port)

8) Meeting my key suppliers (those global accounts based in USA)

9) Went to a USA Casino.

And then in Austin:

10) Drove an hour ( alone) to San Marcos Outlet Malls-voted 3rd for Best Shopping place in the World... I stayed there only an hour ( need strong discipline) and then drove less than an hour back. => no GPS

11) Meeting alot of US colleagues whom i've usually just emailed, heard about and never personally met. It's really nice to put a face to a name now, and to share some stuffs outside work.

And it comes to my attention that alot of these colleagues, or US folks are really very close-knitted to their family (you will never fail to see their kids photos on their desk, their wall, and they will bring their kids up in conversation, about their spouse, things they are going to do during the weekend).. it's nice.

It's common for folks here to move about states. So one can grow up in say... Boston, and move to Chicago to study, and then California to work, and then settled down in Austin, for example. Or born in Wisconsin and worked in Minnesota... So, everyone is very adaptable to different cultures, environment, which to me, is not that bad an idea.

When exchanging some information about ourselves, i'm simple. I'm born and grew up in Singapore. I will get married in Singapore, and will probably stay in Singapore. Joe asked me a question if i had plans to stay elsewhere, since i was going that Singapore is a small place, my day trip today, would have seen me up to Johore at least.

And when he asked me that, I was telling him, even tho Singapore is a really small place, we tend to take alot of things for granted, like the safe environment, the politically stable country, the convenience, public transport, and of course, my family.... * side note: Chicago is encountering heavy rain, flash foods as i'm blogging*

I've always been homey. Even if i like to travel, and now, there's more. I miss Allan alot more too. He's just like family to me now, and i really appreciate his concern, checking on me when i was out driving today alone to San Marcos on HWY 183, IS 35. He actually gone through the route with me last night via Google Map. He called me when i was in Kate Spade this morning to check that i got there safe.=)

And i told him quite a few times this trip, that i think i had it with the work travelling bug. I used to envy those who travel to USA, nice places for long periods. I think it's nice if you have your loved ones with you, but if not, it can be quite lonely, haha, but he doubt my words saying i will eat back my words in a few months.

I used to ponder, why married couples need to stay together, i mean if one finds a job somewhere else for 6 months, why the other half will need to unroot and move together.

It's like: why cant they just be like what they used to do as boyfriend girlfriend, maintaining a long distance relationship. ( i mean granted they dont have kids)... Furthermore, if they are married, they are probably more mature and stable to be able to handle long-distance as compared to young folks who's still probably in the fun, drifting mindset.

However, i start to have a feel for what it's like to be that apart.

Especially when it's totally drastic timezones differences ( in this case 13 hours because of day-light savings). It' requires time and energy to arrange skype meetings to talk, to catch up and be a part of each other's life even tho we're apart).

When you grow older (well, i'm starting to feel this), the need for dependency, the knowledge that there's someone there, really there for you and you're his priority, really calms one down even when one's flustered. Knowing there's someone who's on the lookout for you, who wants to know exactly what's happening, where you're staying, what you're doing. I feel safe just knowing that, even if he's not around. Security without physical presence. I cant quite explain.

I just feel i've been on a fast track ride this trip. Seeing colleagues who are few years older than me, seeing folks 1-2 decades older than me, and how family is a strong foothold for who they are. These folks have a passion for life outside work, be it gardening, be it fishing, i have also met this lady who's into farming, cutting wood in the summer.. mowing the lawn.

They take their kids to baseball games, play baseball with them, they go to drive- in with their family ( have a grill and bbq ready beside their car) ( i almost done that if not for the Stormy saturday!).

It's like as tho, they are sharing with me, what' life will be like down the road. No doubt, no one wants to spend the whole Saturday chopping wood. ( not if you have like 80 acres of land).

Or it can be the father who's taking his MBA, who's preparing his kids for a stay over with their cousins, taking them to swim.

And you know what?... I'm looking forward to life. =) To every new day that's i have to make it worthwhile so that looking back, i will have great memories as well!

Love

There are so many types of love.

Bitter sweet, sweet, candid, undying, endearing, soul-matey, glamorous ... The list goes on.which type do you share with your partner?






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Wishing, and hoping, and praying, and Thinking

Wow, came in and realized it's been about 4 months since i last blog. Or could it be more than a year?

Nope, just check and yup, it's been a mere 4 months but alot has happened. At least to me.



I'm pleased to note there are people who comment on my blog. Thanks! It's nice to read them and i think part of it just inspires one to continue making one's thoughts visible, readable.



Not sure what sparks me to start blogging again, but I've always enjoyed reading my old posts. So i guess, the main motivation is that i'll never lose sight of myself. Oh so cliche... one might say, but hey, these are mine to own.



Have only started proper wedding preparation since the last few weeks, I've always envisioned taking some snapshots during the preparation. Thought it will give me a warm feeling when i look back on the preparation work, the hassle, the fun, the liaising, the frustration even. Good to note them down, however, it's just so much harder when you're the first person. So weird to be taking pictures for e.g while discussing stuffs with the banquet manager? Haha, or trying the bands?



Allan has been great for the past few weeks. He's the one liaising with all the necessary, doing the follow-up as i've been really tied up at work, coupled with the possible prospects of getting a new job. (which I turned down the final interview). I turned down because i didnt want think this job would be something i want to pursue. It got me thinking if i'm starting to settle into comfort zone and hence was hesitant with the many changes that might be coming my way.



However, once i made my mind about the job, I was able to focus on the Project - our wedding.



There's always a little princess, in every girl. Well, i guess I didnt fall out of that. it's fun, but tiring.



Although i have never dreamt about my wedding when i was 10 or 16, like all girls, I thought of a beautiful event when it's time to plan.



Beautiful, not in the sense glamourous,

Beautiful, not in the sense Colourful,

Beautiful, not in the sense of Luxurious,

Beautiful, not in the sense of everything pretty

Beautiful, not in the sense of all things rich.



Beautiful, in the sense of smiles and grins so wide

Beautiful, in the sense of flower girls running down the red carpet

Beautiful, in the sense of sweetness of invites, favours and flowers

Beautiful, in the sense of excitment of close friends and family

Beautiful, in the sense bringing my bridal mag to share with the girls and we having a good time just jotting new ideas, dresses.

Beautiful, in the sense of trying out my very first gown (with my mum), and sharing that thought with closed ones

Beautiful, in the sense of couple deciding on things both big and small

Beautiful, in the sense of checking the wedding band, and having the customer service laughing at him because of his weird sense of humour

(the same happened with the lady at the hotel, what to say.. i have a funny fiance)

Beautiful, in the sense of sharing ideas and themes ( if any) with the photographer ( him, being surprisingly quiet but smiling as we browsed through the portfolio)

Beautiful, in the sense how wedding tend to bring out others' sharing their experiences ( the manager, the photographer)

Beautiful, in the sense how inspirations, thoughts coming your way as you share (sharing them over phone conversations, through photographers, planner)

Beautiful, in the tears that may flow as emotions are bared

Beautiful, in the sense music's in the air ( especially when we spend an hour or two just listening to tracks, and reminscing on songs that meant something)



Ultimately Beautfiul, in the sense of bringing my closest one together leading to our eventful day.



Every little thing now leading to the event is beautiful. Yup, not necessary smooth-going, but there's a sweet rustic charm. Knowing, this will be the first and only time you will planning something so meaningful and sharing it with those who matters.

Shibuya breakfast (post dated)

At a mac outlet in Tokyo shibuya.correction: macdonalds outlet. Alone. My plan is to have my breakfast. And hit the day shopping. Cos shopping is suitable for a lone person. It's flexible timing so you can stop as and when u like.

I have to head back to hotel early tonight for a teleconference or u could perhaps try some sightseeing. Darn, I left the map in the hotel.

Just wanna add: people here are purposeful. Image: old mAn with red writing scribblings on newspaper. Using an electronic dictionary. With book and specs beside him.



Random thoughts:
Japanese crows. Big. Wonder if they met Singapore crows.

Like the concept of airport limousine bus.

Charcoal in water. Vendor machine dispensing coupons. No receipt for dinner.


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Books on a Saturday

Are we what we read? If so, what does these tell about me? A snapshot of my bookshelf . Rather untidy, as I haven't got the space.



Looking forward to the family trip in less than a month!

Side note, here is the luxurious brunch at mimolette after my hike with my hiking buddies aka my siblings ( haha, the first trip to bukit timah).


My breakfast eggs benedict.

January is turning out to be smooth and nice.

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Sweets of the past?

On the way to join Allan for a jog when I was feeling for a taste. Something sour. Something cold. Something spicy . A tub of cold shredded sour mango topped with chilli and light sauce came to mind.

However, I know I am not going to find there anywhere soon and had to, hence, settle for sweets. Sour sweet. I used to buy those candy that is wrapped in foil and a yellow label. The hard sour kind, but not many places carry them already. Only those sugar coated kind which... Ain't really my kind.

So, I third settled for this.



Which I took a picture in case, one day it's extinct too. Me and my ramblings. Enjoy the sours!

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