it's been some time since i blogged. some of you might have heard what happened to me, some might have guessed having reading my last post. Yup, i'm RE...
Aftermath? Post- thoughts? Having past 2 weeks since i last heard this news, i guess this two weeks have been... now, what's the best word for it?
I've been really conscious about how i felt the past two weeks. This news is something which many of us, especially those around my age dont really experience. Say... you are in your 1st or 2nd job? 3rd the max...minus those part-time, attachments and all.
Conscious because of what reason ? I dont think i have the full answer. I just know, i've been making mental points in my head. Take this week for example, i realize i've been taking out the same blue notebook i have in my bag everyday on the way to work, making a list of things i have/want/hope to do for the day/week, and checking the items out on the next day when i take out the notebook again as i jot down new stuffs. So far, the count is doing good. I dont get 100% checked off per day, but at least everyday, at least one item is checked.
They say "baby steps", they say "dream big", they say "unity is strength", they say " each to his own". Suddenly when everyone, irregardless of their seniority, expertise falls on the same boat with the same situation, an imbalance starts to surface. A very interesting phenomena is noted in the office. Wait, suddenly it's not an office where everyone go about their meeting... It's a forum, where everyone meet to discuss, not about work, not to complain about work.. but rather, the lack of work. I feel an emptiness, at the same time, an exciting anticipating at the new slate of path that might be ahead of me. Experiences were shared as we go around cubicles, gathering little spots to discuss over cup of coffee. Some sharing fond memories they have. Some sharing future plans. It's altogether... a very new thing to me.
To say, everyone took it the same approach is alit inaccurate. Some took it actively to seek new alternatives, some took it leisurely, happy at the chance to rest, to laze (if i should be able to use this work), some moping about, going round to see if there's new information for scoop.
I took abit of everything. This period is what everyone of you working will wish you have the time and resources i have now. I pride myself actually going to company resources self-help to learn about finance, read about negotiation skills while i continue looking at the market trend for openings available. I kinda helped an operator of mine teaching her MS excel, so that she can learn something and hopefully add it to her list of IT skills in resume. Frankly, i always thought i was a bummer at heart, but i din know i was not at all comfortable with wasting my time in office. I actually wanted to do something fruitful. So it was great when i could use the time to help this operator out. This is time, i'm thankful for this period. I had 2 great years in this department and tho it's sad counting down to its last wafer out day (yes, that's a term i have conjured LWO)... i've learnt so much and made great friendships. I'm amazed at my revised resume. hiaks. My manager has kindly reviewed it 3times. yes, it can mean two things, he's really concerned about my future and hence really want me to do a top-notch resume, or i really did a lousy resume.
Sigh, having added all that, i've been "arrowed" into a team to come up with a "closure" (i hate to use that term) souvenir for all of us. the "last arrow" they told me. *sigh*
I'm actually very positive about this whole thing. And to top it all, i've treating myself to little indulgences (yes those sensible friends of mine might shake their head and ask me to save for a rainy day instead).
Take today for example, i rate 4 star ****.
Went for a pedicure with my colleagues during lunch using mich's package deal but we pay her lah. i top up mine with another $4 for footscrub. Yeah, nice feet and toes and toe nails. it's feels equally disguisting and liberating to see that pile of towering dead skins on the towel where my feet rest.
Followed by a pretty fruitful day at work, i went back home, caught abit of "MR DEEDs" on cable. Btw, "the IRon MAN" is amazing! the lousiest thing about the movie was the title was totally under-rated and pushing potential audience away cos the title remains them of "the iron ladies", i gotta admit i was one of those until i watched the show and was totally convinced. Tony Starke is the man. He made us engineers feel proud, and at the same time freaking poor.
Oops, i have yet again diverted. Back to the star-studded day, so i came back home, watched a bit of "mr deed", the meaningful part where adam sandler asked the share holders if they all turned out what they wanted to be when they were little. Nope. I shook my head too, sadly the only difference between me and those share holders... i dont know what i wanted to be when i was little. or did i forget along the way?
I could not shout out loud what i wanted to be when i was little, but i seriously dont think engineer was the word i had in mind when i was 6. 'English' was possibly the closest word to 'engineer' i guess at that age, and i did pretty fine in english, if that was a sign.
Anyway, after the movie, i went for a nice warm shower, still admiring my pretty toes when i pampered myself to some DIY facial regime. Put the "wedding album" on my mini compo and was listening to "fallen" by lauren woods when i started blogging in the comfort of my room. How cool is that?
And now, i've more or less come to the end of my thoughts. It's time to take good night sleep. Beauty sleep is extremely important at this time of my life. First, i'm starting to age, we are aging all the time, but now, it's starting to show physically if we dont take care of ourselves, for example, i hate to write this down, but it will serve me good memory as i read this one day. I cant really do sit-ups already.... how depressing right? You think thin people has no problems. Think again. My sister was having the best laughs for the longest time while she see me struggles to get up.
oh "IF" by bread is playing now. A room filled with music that douses me to my bed.
Good night now, dear hooey, if u ever come back into this entry 10 years down the road, remember this. life is good, you are thankful for whatever comes your way, be it good or bad.
i've also been meaning to blog about the tragic natural disaster at myanmar and chengdu. Read the papers this morning, and felt a tinge of sadness seeing those pictures of post-destruction ruins.
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