Changed Look: The Blog

Thinks it's time the blog takes on a new look as i start to prepare to embark a new phase in my life- Marriage.

Yesterday marks a really interesting, thought-provoking event as the fiance and I attended the Pre-Marriage course. I added in my facebook profile that i felt like " Mr and Mrs Smith" because we spent 8 hours on this couch with the counsellor/ expert, let's call him Mr X, who asked us questions, exploring our relationship, view points, making us share some personal, intimate details.

I guess Mr X is now the 3rd person in the world who knows more about us other than us.

If there's one key take-away from the course, it would be...remember: "you sacrifice yourself, not for the other person, but for the relationship"

If i ever find myself in a situation where i have to compromise, do not think it's because i've lost and the other party's won, you do so.. because of the relationship, not because of him vice versa.

Whatever we do from now on, it's all for the good for the relationship.

The moment we say " i do", we are one. We were two individuls, but we are now going to do everything, discuss everything as one.

We do have certain agreements as a couple when we did the questionaire/ personality tests.=)

What the Mr X really appreciate about allan is that, when asked why he doesn pick up a quarrel or why he doesn flare up when i may seem unreasonable, the reason allan gave, was :
" it's not i couldn continue the quarrel, or rebutt her to win the argument, I just dont see the value in prolonging the fight, or making her upset further, when it's some small issue"....

I teared for the 2nd time i hear this. I teared the first time i heard this when he first said that to me in the car not too long ago, when i was worried about him, having not really flared up at me before, was thinking aloud if he might just be a dormant volcano and i will have no idea what he's really after marriage. *finger crossed*

That's where Mr X, nodded in agreement and added " Pick your fight". Do not choose to fight all the time and win for the sake for winning. Conflicts are bound to be present, but if you must fight, Fight for something meaningful, not petty stuffs.

He has his flaws, I had mine, but knowing he's going to be the one who's going to tolerate me for the rest of my life, makes me feel thankful.

I also noted, in the course of this relationship, more often than not, i find myself wanting the fiance to improve this, to improve that. And yet, one thing i'm so appreciative of him is that, he never asks for me to really change, although he do has his fair share of complaints for me. He's concerned about my health, some of my eating habits, but all in all, he really appreciates me for who i am.

We might not be prepared to know everything that's coming our way, but we covered some grounds? Some scope of what marriage encompass and while we dont fully complement each other, ( we even failed in some aspects, if you based on figures), it's assuring to know, even after Mr X's blunt discussions and questions, scary facts, statistics, after sharing some really personal experiences, we were still smiling at each other, Freaked by some stuffs, but still hand-in hand as we left the centre.

And like the movie in Evan Almighty ( which i'm watching as i blog), even when your partner can confuse you with some bizzare actions, words; even when your partner seems to be going through some tough times, when times are hard.. stay by him/ her. A famly stays together no matter what, and be supportive of each other.

Quote from the movie: "When someone pray for patience, do you think God gives them patience, or does he give them the opportunity to be patience?"

Very meaningful.

Gosh, I think this can be my wedding vows if i continue my train of thoughts...

******

Wedding Update:
a) Bridal Package- Settled
b) ROM Make up- Settled
c) Photography - not yet
d) ROM Dress- not yet
e) Music - not yet
f) Readiness- <50%
g) Mental Strength- climbing up!=)