Venom

Anyone watched SPIDER MAN 3?

This is not a review.
Just some after thoughts.

Ever felt powerless and guilt-stricken like Spiderman when he found the truth about his uncle's death? How he's been living the illusion that he avenged his uncle ben by 'causing' the death of the murderer? And only to realize the murderer is out at large 3 years later and he took the life of the wrong man?

I didnt think much about the movie. I didnt place much emphasis on it either and carried on with my life. Up until recently, certain events that happened to people around me, affecting me that trigger these after thoughts.

When one's feeling weak, disturbed and confused, one turn to alternatives, options that may otherwise solve the issue if not, revamp the situation such that these negatives thoughts are removed.

Some simply shift/put the blame on others, convincing oneself that one is dissolved of all responsibilities, that one has done his best and it's just the rest that's not cooperating.

Some like to put all the blame upon oneself, burdening oneself with all the emotional baggage, the guilt, the pain and while thinking the only one hurting is yourself, you fail to realize people around you who cares are suffering because of you.

And when something arises which give u the power, you hesitated, you pondered upon your values and morals and you resisted.

With time, with the growing of those creepy feelings, the frustrations, the thorny thoughts, you had enough and decided it's not too bad to just rely on the alternative. Just once, once you cleared it, you'll be fine and all will be back to normal.

Be it blaming on others, or shouldering it on yourself, you want to change and you gave yourself the option to harness that "strength". It worked, you're empowered and you feel invincible. You feel great, and you feel you're justified.

Then comes the time, you realize people around you started going against you, started behaving cold or angry, and you wonder why everyone started behaving this way as though they have changed... and then the harsh truth hits you. You're the one who's changed. You've been "poisoned" by the venom.

You're the common entity between your interactions with others and it's you who have resulted in these.

You' want to get rid of the "monster" that turned you into this. You want to break free, and you realized it's too late, when you not only empowered it, you have become a slave to it. It no longer listen to your will and you however, are to act upon it's will.

You feel like a monster. You dont know what you have become and you long to be how you used to be.

It takes tremendous effort to get rid of it even much much more than how all these started out. What seemed like an easy avenue now became something beyond redemption.

Why do we let hatred take over us? Why do we allow guilt to drown us out of our existence? No doubt, to feel guilty is better than be indignant, living in denial, but there has to be a time one let go of these emotional baggage.

Watched parts of "An unfinished Life" starring Jennifer Lopez, Morgan Freeman and Robert Redford, set in the beautiful lands of Wyoming, i enjoyed the bitterness, the cold and conflicting human emotions portrayed in the movie.

*******

Rather stoned now. Shall continue when i'm in a hyped mood.=)
I'm visiting Hanoi next month. Any itinerary to share?