Happy Mother's Day

I'm a tad sad i took that long to blog, i didnt know almost a quarter of 2012 has passed since my last post. And we have done quite a couple of stuffs in this period.

 1) We've gotten a new car. Yes, that's my daily mode of transport to work, i've grown to enjoy the ride and peace. Though the sad part is, i dont get to read on transport nor do i get to stare into space, people watched or fall asleep. The best part is i saved a good 45 mins off travelling which means more zzz for me- Jan 2012

 2) We've got a new place! Yes, we are rather fast movers in this aspect, and i cant wait for our new place to be up! Great ideas for decoration, having friends over for meals, DVD, or just chilling with the facilities in store.- Mar 2012

 3) We've step foot on Europe-> Switzerland, a place both of us wanted to go, and we were joined by jon which made it even more fun, and memorable. Even though hang-gliding was cancelled, we were able to go up to Jungfrau, Top of Europe ( An really expensive ride) but hey, it's the 100th anniversary this year. We just returned 2 weeks ago, and it's such fun looking back at the pics.

 4) And today marks Mother's day. Feeling abit more,( not because i'm preggie), which quite a few of my friends are, but perhaps because they are, and this year marks the year i'm celebrating with both mothers ( my mum and my hub's), and seeing friends around me post pics, status of their gifts ( be it receiving for the first time, or from their cute toddlers), or even our generation wishing our mum's happy Mother's day via facebook.

One cant help but feel overwhelmed with Motherly love. Nurturing love perhaps would be a better word. I had a conversation with my mum today, how young people today, are no longer that family-focused. We tend to ( i use the word tend) put their priorities on a balance scale. Family/ Work/ Personal/ and eventually Retirement. which is more important and how would you get your way through to a smooth Retriement?

 In our late 20s early 30s, we are all over fulfilling our wants, our almost compulsory annual travel trips to get away from work, climbing up that ladder just to get that promotion, hit the next income level, get an apartment with your beloved, planning for wedding, having that honeymoon, buying the latest gadgets, or eyeing that handbag. It's a phase most of us will identify with.

 For some, it's pursuing higher education, furthering our studies, be it abroad for that independent, travel experience, or local ( part-time : i salute), or full-time just to focus on getting that one item checked. Then it comes the point, when people start their family, photos of babies start appearing on your facebook. Gatherings of House-warming, now coupled with baby-shower, if not, it will be hearing so and so has gone for maternity leave, and 4 month break just seem oh that welcoming. Of course, in the year of dragon, you gotta coupled it more with securing your confinement lady, booking your maternity ward, or perhaps ( if not too crazy,) doing volunteer work for that infant care centre just blocks away from you. Do they even have that? Are we or are we all not chasing some dream set by the norms of our modern society? What else is there left?


 Back in our parents' era, starting a family comes naturally after marriage. Once you have one, usually, you will find # 2 coming along shortly, some with #3, and for rare cases in the 1990s ( like my family) we have a #4. Life was tough, the internet evolution came about in the 1980s....and that's when information overload, growing economy, globalization, terms coined like Foreign Talent, Competition, came about and stayed on. I dont remember hearing my parents complain, i dont remember hearing my parents sigh to each other, asking for a break from all of this, having a trip all by themselves. They save, scrimped (prob we dont see it), and they make sure we have food on table, air-con at night, and books to study, and of course, the occasional trip to the beach. I had a fun childhood. But today, will that still be the case for say, 40% of the kids?

 I cant say much for those in the upper primary to secondary students ( i dont have the data points), my statistics data comes from friends whose kids range from 2 month old till 5 years old. Well, if i were to include my colleagues, then 9 years old. So, hardly enough to know what the kids today are really going through as they learn to study independently, take responsibility for some of the actions that they are assigned to. I'm scared when i think of all these, I'm not sure how sustainable a parent i will be should i be given this opportunity. But, i will not ever want to think because of a kid, i have to give up on so and so, give up certain facets of my life. At the same time, both of us want to have kids someday. We are kids ourselves, and so we have to learn to take care of others. The idea of being responsible for someone for the rest of their life, seems daunting and yet intriguing at the same time.


 Just as i came across this line: I'm afraid of Success AND Failure. Yes, it sounds strange, but i can totally relate to it. On this mother's day, no amount of $, gifts, can express the gratitude i have for the wise woman i call my Mum. I'm here, because of her. I'm who i am today, the thoughts , the personality i have today, is directly and indirectly because of this great lady, whom i'm so proud, so proud of that i will constantly try to recall the things she has done, for me, as that's how i want to teach, impart to my future generation. I love you mum.

New Post 2012- My 30 birthday week

And so, before i knew it, my 30th birthday week is about to end. It has been a great week so far. I've spent CNY + birthday with wonderful people who mattered to me most, received surprises, gifts, thoughts from folks for far. I'm a happy contented woman. Yup, dont think i qualify for a " girl" now.

And i've been meaning so much to have some spare time to myself. Yes, really spending it with myself, with my thoughts, sitting on my coach and just typing all what i have been feeling since the beginning of this 2012.

I've pretty much started 2012 being really sick and unwell, i had fever and headaches for consecutive days and had to go to emergency dept in Raffles Hospital to take a blood test. It was freaky as the doc initially thought i had Dengue. ( Not for the 2nd time??!! i thought). Thank goodness ( or not), it ended up as viral fever and my fever subsided after a few days, but my headache persisted. It was horrrible having this headache which painkiller do not seem to cure and I had to go to several chinese docs to find out the root cause. Finally, after completed the medication ( diagnosis: heaty lungs and liver), i was back to normal.

And perhaps, it was this illness that somewhat changed my perspectives drastically. In a way, i always knew health was important, i was one who always aimed to strike a balance between work and life but this illness taught me to even MORE appreciate the people around me, showed me what i have been taking from granted ( unknowingly), and what i have been missing out while enjoying the love, convenience brought about from my parents.

Example:
1. I do not know how to cook cooling herbs, water to cool down my "internal organs"=> my mum made for me and i was so touched, i took a pic of it on my phone.

2. My mum-in-law bought me more herbs ( from the chinese medicinal hall) knowing my headache and fever did not subside.

3. My dad called up his friend to find out which chinese doctor is good and my family took me there and waited for more than an hour for the doc to see me and prescribe my medication.

4. My hub came home early everyday when i was sick, checking on me, he spent his weekend at home with me even though i was asleep most of the time and he had nothing to do.

5. My diet was controlled ferociously by my hub and my family. Cooking light meal, no oily food, even for them

6. I realize i do not know how to take care of myself, i shuddered at the thought how i'm going to take care of my kids, my loved ones should they fall ill.

7. I realize how ' shallow' our lives has become. Material needs, eating processed food, using money to buy convenience.

This made me even more determined, to cook, to create value, to be independent so that others can be dependent on me. Yup that's it.

With that, i shared these thoughts with the weekenders, yup, weekenders has become a very integral part of my life. of our lives ( hub and me).

In fact, i'm ending this "work weeK' with a dinosaur exhibition with S and J! That reminds me. I have yet to load pictures. Okay, i probably continue this post another time. But most important phrase for myself this 2012.

" to be independent, so that others can be dependent on me"!

My business thoughts 2 jan 2012

For the longest time, i have always toyed with the idea of coming up with my own business.
These are the ideas that have sprung out of my head for the past few years, as much as i can remember

a) Florist cum coffee shop
- Since i love fresh flowers & how pretty they are
- Coffee?? Self explanatory

b) Bookshop cum coffeeshop
- Much of it was inspired by "You've got mail"
- Well, we had Borders and see what happened to it ( dont think mine will work)
- I always feel books and coffee go well together on a hot afternoon
( Bookstore has to be fully air-conditioned, accompanied with plush cushions, lazy corners)

c) Online self motivation blog
- Partly because i love to read self motivation stuffs, especially tips on how to improve life
- I reckon it will be minimum capital required to maintain this business
- It's meaningful if you have readers who feedback how they find it useful ( granted they know the existence of the blog in the first place)

d) Cafe / bakery
- with nice ambience, a great place for me to entertain my friends
- Sitting along the island with good food, chil

e) Lifestyle store
- take ikea for example, how they are able to fuse lifestyle with furnitures
- Take Typo, fusing lifestyle with stationery
- I just need to create a lifestyle for a particular item which i believe there's market for

Is there anything else which i have missed? I cant quite remember but over the years, these were the ideas that stuck

I have read books, watched enough movies to know certain signs should not be ignored and we should always follow our heart.
But how often is that possible, when one just have ideas and more undying passion to carry it through?

It's the 2nd day of 2012, and i have not quite done my traditional post of blogging the highlights, learnings of 2011 and what i aim moving forward 2012.
I was down with a bout of fever & headaches, i like to think it was due to lack of sleep and the constant nights out ( nope, i hardly took much of a sip this holiday season)

I will be capturing the highlights of 2011 in another post. With my Macbook Pro, i feel i haven been utilizing much, making use of it to its full potential.
This will be something i target to capture in 2012.

A Moment like this

It's my shutdown again.

It's period like this when i often feel i want to make the most out of my free time. I will have options like the below.

a) Gym so that i make full use of my package
b) Library as i really need to read to feed my brain
c) Errands, like financial planning, clearing room, clearing my brain
d) spending with loved ones, wanted to ask mum to tea but forgot she was working, wanted to ask in-laws but they had a heavy lunch
e) Shopping? However, since i'm going HK this thursday, it seems too much to start shopping now, tho i eventually did get a bag. ( oopsie)

So, having done none of those and thought all of those, i came back home feeling tired. Yes, i believe all these thinking and having done nothing actually makes it more tiring, than to have just give myself time to rest, to relax, to not worry about wasting time.
One should not have to worry about all these... especially on a shutdown.

So, i'm actually feeling alit liberating, and i set to clear my list one step at a time...

Side note: i'm really excited about going to HK!

2 months since I last posted and I had problems remembering my password. In today's world of iPhones, it seems the only password u need to remember is your pass code to the phone. And if you didn't even set that, congratulations to password-free situations when u access your emails, Facebook... What else? Oh wait, that's what most of us use anyway.

I have been wondering and have even vocalized my thoughts of doing something else other than work. And when I see "signs" present themselves along the way, I just took a glance and not act. Partly because, certain presumptions have taken place during that short few minutes of ... " what if?. And yet, I do know because no actions were taken on my part, it's not resolved and it keeps coming back to me.
Ah... Life. I wish I had written more of what I did for the past 3 years rather than just what I thought. Somehow, I had problems recalling.
What strikes me tho, was kid read. Was the activities I have set forth... Diving, climbing, travels, books.
What happens when u do not have any wish list like that? A product manager at work commented I am romantic at heart based on my desktop wall paper. The house by the lake/ ocean in a really blue setting. Could have been dawn or dusk, it's up to one's interpretation and mood.

Watched a show that brought back bitter-sweet memories. Things of the past actually.jolted at my heart for like..2 days and it's back to normal. ( not sure if its a self-mechanism) that kept it away, or like that show.. We are all at ease with contentment of how events have unfolded since.

Going hong kong!

Random thoughts ending.

Life married

I think the last time i post, i had not gone through the customary wedding ceremony. So technically, although we were married, we have not stayed with each other. Looking back, it's close to 4 months since we held our banquet at Marina Mandarin and wow, looking back, i think time passed really fast.

Strangely, it's also a time of more reflection as both of us get used to each other living habits. I wont say it's all rosy but ultimately i still feel blissful in the knowledge we are learning more and adapting about each other's quirky habits, emotions and thoughts as we started sharing a common space.

As i've grown to more obligation, with "wife" added to the list of existing roles " Daughter, Sister, Friend, Colleague" , let's not forget " daughter- in law" and him taking on the role of "brother-in law" to 3 other siblings and a son to my parents; there are ultimately adjustments, considerations, which i tell myself not to forget and take for granted.

And maybe in doing so, something i wonder if i have forgotten about... me as an individual. I seriously doubt so since I am putting my thoughts in to it, but it can be easily neglected and in place, is frustrations when one failed to see why one feel inadequate, yet, often it's the multitude of roles all rolled into one that adds up to this frustrations. Hence, i tell myself i must learn to allocate time to myself, to get used to it, while not taking too much of it, which may indirectly affect others.

There are a couple of things on my mind. Things which i thought i want to set about doing and often more than not, it just get chucked aside. When i was single and attached, i tend to be more stubborn in self centric in the actions/ plans i made. And now, i see myself overly concerned. what an irony.. so i thought i should put it out.

a) Sky diving in New Zealand. Mt Cook preferably, if not fine with other sites in NZ.

b) Setting up a Vickers account. Seriously, this one doesn seem quite feasible cos i'm not going to follow through, so i might just strike it off

c) Get my photo book done. But then again, i worry about too much stuffs which is already crowding our little room.

d) A holiday with my parents. I have brought them travel ever since i've started work, or at least anywhere really decent, so i kinda want to bring them on a short trip.

e) Saving money. Well, i do feel the urge to do that more now, even though there's nothing really pressing i need the cash for. I'm glad, cos i really need to exercise more self- restraint in this area.

f) Fitness? I target to be more focused in yoga, in over-all well being. Seeking a balance in my diet, beauty regime ( at least to really start focusing on clean, tone, moisturing .... i can so feel the "Gasps!" coming my way, that i'm still not disciplined in that area).

g) An overall organized mindset and physical on-take in various aspects in life, my room, my work area, my social life, my marriage life.=)

h) by the way, i'm blogging this on my Macbook pro which hub got for me. So, i rreally need to learn to make full use of this baby. There's so much functions.

i) Last but not least, to grow with my hub. It easier to lose track of what's important when you see people around your age doing certain things, which kinda influenced one to think, "yes, this is what you should do, this is what's next, this is the path", but ultimately, we should remember, the marriage is two of us, not what others set of us. We should be comfortable with where we are, where we want to go, and how we want to go....
"In health or sickness, in richness or poor, for better or worse" we will stay by each other. This is probably the only commonality, standard set for marriage.

Post-Wedding- Beginning of the End

I know i haven been one diligent bride who posted updates, progress of the wedding preparation despite being one who loves to pry on others' updates. Reading other brides' adventures, troubles, joy in choosing, from the dress to the theme to the schedule.

I have seen my bride-zilla self surfaced several times, unknown to many except for the closest. I feel bad, and even till now, there will be times i look back and regret my actions, regret my stuborn streak, and thankful they stood by me.

It's times like this, i need to really pen this down, so that i will remember, cos to me, these are the things i want to keep close to my heart.

It's true... after the whole wedding, as you look back, you dont care about the colours of the table cloth, the colour theme. It's the faces, it's the gestures, the speeches, ( words of love), the tears, the laughter ( emotion of love), the joint effort of the brothers & sisters.

I'm so glad we had the special march in, i'm so glad we had the luxury of arranging helpers room and have our helpers ( our sexy back group) stayed overnight with my family, such that we were able to relish the last evening's activites, jokes,little happenings via breakfast in the morning. Going through the highlights together in the comfort of our suite. To me, that's bliss.=)

I'm thankful everything went so smoothly during the wedding, love the compliments i have gotten from my dresses, love my entourage! Love all the speeches, love the little flower girls.

I'm thankful, and now, i'm looking forward to really settling down with my husband.
There's another found meaning and knowing we are now linked togher more than ever.
We plan with each other in mind. I love that. I love how understanding he has been. And i really need to put this down in words, because i know it wont be long when i will lash out at him. My poor hub.

I love that he respects my decision, even though they may be costly and wrong. I'm unable to put it into words how thankful i am for him. How, i have mishandled situations in this wedding and how he has put things right, even though i like to be the one who claimed the credits. Shame on me.

I hope we will continue to grow strong as a couple.

( side note: cant wait for the professional actual day pics)