Personal rant that 's been bottled up

Here i am alone in the living room. Glancing at my place which seem like a last time for a weekday morning like this.

Work has been piling up, it's projects and events all coming in together, setting up qualifications, tool buy-off, process data analysis and presentations yet to be prepared.

I'm enjoying all this rush and yet at the same time, i'm hating the suffocating feeling just thinking of all the work and errands i have to run.

1) wiring of home network in the new place? or adopt wireless for all the terminals?
2) How to decorate the new room? Types of lightnings? curtains and bedsheets, quilt designs?
3) Fixing of wall shelves? how many and where to put it?
4) Aircon position? Will it interfere with the paint design which i've done up over the weekend?
5) Bath room renovation?
6) updating change of address in all documentations that has to address field. And in singapore context, this number can run up to 100s of form, bills, updating anyone who sends you mail.

Social Events:

1) birthdays? 3 this month (yet to come)
2) Hen-party? 1 this month (yet to come)
3) Company party housing 3000+ (yet to come, end of the month) and should i even need to elaborate i'm being arrowed into this again as the organising committee?


We are already mid month and there's only another 4 weekends. let's not forget the moving house actually takes place end of the month and the incessant packing, throwing, donating going around the house.

it's times like this i wonder, if my mental power is actually strong enough that i have no collapsed or if i'm been complaining so much inside me that it actually self-regulates??

I dont really head out for fun cos frankly the most fun thing is lying in bed and dozing off straight away. or snatching that little bit of time to and from work to read harry potter, uninterrupted.

I dont watch much tv even i fall asleep on the couch when i head home, still in my work attire and woke up to cold food.

I'm not trying to gain pity down here. it's just been so exhausting. but, it's good to know at the end of it all, the family stands together. 4-5 trips to Ikea lasting 4-5 hours each time? yes, horrible walking but yes, wonderful as a family making decision.

It's like the past few weeks just went past me without me slowing down to consider how i even got it through.

I could so cry and laugh thinking about it. Maybe i'm weak and all these piling on somebody else is no problem at all, but these series of events (some yet to come) has shown how vulnerable and unaccommodating i am. My sister is the one who's been the versatile and adapting one when i used to thought i was. She's the elder sister among us who cooks for us after our long work. (yes this is a hyper weekend), i think out of 48 hours, we only slack for 12 hours, and working our ass off for 36 hours.

She's the one who bear my rant and so did he.

I'm one spoilt kid who knows clearly what i want and want not, and expect people to think the same, especially my close ones.

And all this while, i like to think i've been rushing all these for other people and kept complaining i have no time to myself. This is true... until this morning, but i kept forgetting, in the midst of working with others, working for others, doing things for the family, they too had compromise my attitude and behaviour. They too had bore my share of tiredness and frustrations. They too, had worked with me.


This, i believe is something you wont get with anyone else, except family.


* I only thought of the title after completing this post, and i remembered coming across a small message bottle while clearing. i dint want to throw it away. I told him yesterday, i could whisper my wish and kept it enclosed. haha, i think it's more of bottling up my frustrations and only releasing it now.