MCQ anyone?

Have you ever made a hard decision?

What are the processes you go through to make that decision? How do you go about making that decision?

Some draw up a list. Pros and Cons. + and - and what have you.
Some go by gut feeling. Which ever is the safest route.
Some just wants to be different. Taking the route less travelled whether they like it anot.
Some play the elimination game. You know, something like MCQ.

You dont know what's right, so u simpy cancel out the wrong answers first, narrowing your choices.

A few days ago, while at this eating house called "Big Pa Pa", i came to realize, how i have been using that technique subconciously over the years.

A colleague asked me what i want in a dream job. I dont have a specific answer as to what i WANT, but somehow, I knew clearly what i DONT WANT.

You might ask me what i like to eat, i cant give u a straight answer, but i can tell you what food i hate/dislike. Anyway, for those interested, i dont like Lady's fingers, i dont like that purple thingy vegetable plant, I dont like Squid, ( calamari exception), i dont like mussels. I dont like weird looking food. Full Stop.

It's easy to point out what i dont like, but hard to pin-point what i want. Is it me? Am i the only one who feels that way? I dont know what i want in life, but clearly i know what i dont.

We have been taught to identify what's wrong in our early stages in life. We were taught from young that SMoking is wrong.. and then it evolves to SMOKING is BAD, not wrong. Black and white seeminlgy blended to a sea of gray as we grow older. Nothing is totally wrong, nothing is exactly right.

I think there's a form of mechanism in me. I know what's not suitable for me, what's not cut- out for me and what's not good for me. Yes, i have that mechanism in-built somewhere. And it has served me well i must say. I haven made much, (note ) wrong choices.. nothing to the extent that makes me want to kill myself and me constantly asking myself "WHAT IF... IF ONLY...".
Yes, here and there i might lament on some decisions. Engineering is one.*laughs*. Nah, it's not really.. goodness know where and how i will be like if i have chosen another course.

Elimination is a form of decision making, but not the most ideal. You're merely removing options, and not defining what u really want. What is really right for you.

Granted that you're only given these options, and u just restrict yourself to these few becos u dont think about what goes beyond these options. U will ultimately be stuck with an option that is "least dislikable" to you and not what u truely desire.

I'm in that stage. I want to explore other options. I want to see beyond the four fingers. Eh?
haha, see if u know what i'm talking about.

Options beyond the Options given. That's what i should aim.

Free day with "friends" in "NO MAN LAND"

Flintstone feel.

it's a sunday evening, and i sure have mixed feelings. Back in singapore, it will be becos, i dont look foward to monday blues, but here, it's different.

Mixed feelings, cos, i'm alit glad that i'm having this little rest. As u can see from my previous post, i had a gd time just snapping some shots. And i must say, i feel liberated seeing those photos. And now, i spent today watching "Friends". Great way to spend the hours, but the moment i finished, i felt so empty. This place can be abit hard to bear, especially when u got free time. So, in a way, i'm glad that monday's coming, cos i'm able to do my work, and this means i'm one day closer to home.

Oh, before i forget, i actually hopped over to Malaysia today. yup u heard it right, had to hop over becos i'm allowed to stay here for only 14 days. So, in order to extend, i need to technically get out of the country and back in. So, yup, took an hour drive(jam) to the customs and back. Haha, for 3 mins , i was in NO-MAN land. The border between brunei and malayisa. kinda interesting experience... could have stayed and explored, but it was raining and i was looking forward to just spending some time alone in my hotel with "friends" hiaks.

So there, my day, my first free day in 14 days. It's good, and now, besides hoping that there's something good on TV, i can read my good book. Have i mentioned how i love "Friends", so hilarious, sarcastically funny, so awfully heart-warming too.

Is there really a Central Perk? if there is, it'll be good place to check out. My FYP partner is one girl whom i watched Friends with after the exams ended. I got reminded when we were all aobut to shift out of hostel, and yup, i went over to her hostel after some FYP thingy where we both just watched episode after episode of "friends" ( in her Cluttered, and yet strangely organized room). Having our dinner and a fantastic good laugh. Sharing those moments had indeed made my final year a memorable one. Amy dear, You're the greatest, funniest partner i can have. Haha, i was reminded of you, when a business partner was out with us and he commented "EAT ME EAT ME". hahaha... i'm sure you know what i'm talking about.

2005 is coming to an end, and i think i will spend some time just reliving this year, recalling what happened. It's been an eventful year.

Right ruffy?

Buying Blades, FYP, labs session, Hours studying, mugging, walking to and fro from hostels to tutorials rooms, trips, blading, cook-outs (correction: one cook-out with giles and pals), or was it two?haha. Reading story books. S for me. Hiaks. Shows. Plays. S for him. Cafe hang-outs. Failed Wala Wala night. Zouk. Photos. Graduation. Finding Jobs. More photos taking. Ups and DOwns. He flying, Me flying, We flying to different destinations. Me with dengue, Me hospitalized for the first time. (GOSH). Wait, hospitalized with my brother.

There's probably more...but some randomized events in my head.

I adore this shot. This' for ruffy. Little plant standing tall, even with the waves crushing in. In foreign lands, in a different environment, Unaffected, and ever steady. Magnificent and yet simplicity with its little presence. Oxymoron i know. i'm amazed. I got wet taking this shot. Lucky my camera was safe.=)

3 beaches 2 mosques 1 day

Enid blyton fairy ring? Harry potter Porkey's hangout? Message: Save the trees!!!

Waves crushing in, surfing anyone?... no, this is not a tsunami.

"When i was just a little girl... i asked my mother what will i be"

Hey sarah sarah, whatever will be, will be..

footprints on a saturday afternoon

Log, brook, stream, rocks -- sepia mode

Something i have been wanting to do for ages. a good book, a companion, a towel , sand and waves. FYI, book title: "The time traveller's wife" which von w lent me and moose as my faithful companion of cos.

Night shots, real versus reel. check out the reflections!=) Pretty!

i love this.

9 days to xmas

well, guess i really did sound a tad frustrated in the previous post.

I'm doing documentation and compilation now. It's not an easy job as most think. in fact, it sucks.

i wish i can write something interesting about my life. Something astonishing, like seeing an asteroid or something. Okay, perhaps i'm high on caffeine.

but nope, nothing like an asteriod. perhaps the most interesting scene i saw tonight was this lady sitting at the corridor outside her hotel room with her lappie, guess she was trying to get the best reception or something.

Poo, heard the plane flying in to brunei airport. My sole motivation comes from the fact that i'm a plane out of BN on the 23rd. Yes, count down with me wil ya. it's erm 9 days to xmas.
People always say special things, magical things happen on xmas. *cross my fingers* come'on. show me some magic.

*Open eyes* Hmm.. right, still in the hotel bedroom. Still on bed with lappie in front of me. So much for magic. Anyone ever had a white xmas?

okay... think hooey is in her blabbering, concussing mood already.. better stop and head back to those files...grrz

Look what you have done

You've made a fool of everyone.

BLEAH. It's one of those days when u walk around with a vengence. When ur clammed up, when u refused to talk, refused to be friendly and Simply wishing it's the end of the day.

Only.. the end of the day marks the deadline and this is not something i'm looking forward to.

i'll give it DOUBLE BLEAH !!!!

everyone's somewhere

singapore's beach...

Sunday Morning 9.11 am

It's a Sunday, and i'm preparing to go to work. Yes, work cos we have testing on Monday. Gosh, my first professional UAT ( user acceptance testing) for those who arent aware. Wish me luck.

Do you think people can sense fear? Watching Mona Lisa Smile on HBO now, and first lecture scene, Ms Catherine Watson (Julia Roberts) was shocked that the class was so well-prepared. They read up the entire text and supplements way before the first lesson. It made me wonder, if that's how the education system is like in some cultures. How many of us actualy took a glance of our textbooks, notes before we attend class? *a show of hand*? i doubt i see many.

As the slides were played, and students cutting her short with their knowledge of what she 's supposed to impart; i felt her fear along with her. It was somewhat, as tho i was in the picture somehow. Perhaps subconciously, i was thinking about monday's UAT. Wondering if the same thing were to happen. Will the panel sense my fear? Will i be able to bounce back and prepare?
Mona Lisa Smile. Catherine Watson has bounced back.

Well enough of texts.. here' some pictures from the week...

My typical breakfast for the week. Yummmy? try it for a week.

Did i mention i went shopping recently?

xmas spirit at its best. Me doing my normal grocery shopping. Hmm, compared to ruffy's xmas tree in bkk, i guess i just have to settle dor something small.

My First Chilled Sake in KL with mr A, wong and his gf. Nice meeting up with u all!

okies i think it's time to go.. have a nice sunday !

xmassy mood

i went for foot- massage today. Tried the services at the hotel. $20 for an hour. Well, it's pretty good, tho i think the lady can sense my low threshold for pain and was pretty gentle with me compare to my other colleagues (guys). Felt highly pampered and at the same time, alit bad(guilty) that someone is massaging my feet. Hehe, anyway the lady is really nice and she's from thailand.

Well, after that we had dinner and then i came back to the hotel before walking out to the supermart alone to get some groceries. NIce nice feeling of heading out alone ( it was 9 plus) and xmas season is spreading as i walked into the mart. walking down the isle while listening to xmas songs. Looking atxmas tree deco, i was suddenly tempted to buy xmas cards... and u know what? they dont sell xmas cards in boxes. Darn.. really in a xmas-y mood.

cheers!

Never saw blue like that

Hmm,

with 20 mins to spare before i start working on some documentation, the time is too short for me to take a snooze and pack, too long for me to stare into anything. So what better thing to do than pause to reflect what's been happening around.

Song on my winamp: "Never saw blue like that"-Shawn Colvin.

nice Song to listen to while typing.. just typing along with the music. Strangely, i have been travelling around for slightly more than 2 months already. This is also about the amount of time i spent working. Last night (rather, this morning at 4 am), in the middle of nowhere, a thought suddenly jolted me just as i was about to turn in to bed.

"How did i end up here, in a hotel,in Brunei? Staying alone, working in foreign lands, in a field different from my specialisation, in a world, where i seeminlyg stick out like a sore thumb?"

Dont misunderstand, everyone has been very nice to me. But somehow, for the first time in many years, i feel like i'm abit "out". It seems people around me have found their spot in this circle, while i, am hanging at the edge of the circle. balancing on the line.. any moment and i can just fall out.

"How did a girl like me, end up with the courage to work away from home?"

At that instance, i missed home.
I missed my family.
I missed staying with the people i loved, quarrelled over the remote, or looking for misplaced things at home.
I missed the cat.
I missed hearing those familiar voices.

Looking around, i'm enclosed by clean walls, carpetted floor, a huge bed and my own little world. Privacy. Sometimes, i sit back ( like now), wishin i can give myself a pat on the back. "Go girl, you've done it."

Sometimes, i sit back and wonder when will i stop travelling. When i can settle down. For anything, shuttling to places does not give u that luxury. Every place u go to, u unpack knowing fullly that it's only temporary. You adjust to the changed environment, but not allowing urself to fully settle or grown attached to it for it will be difficult (emotionally and physically)when you shift again.

This is the life of a nomad. The life of working people who travel. Board the plane and you see so many of them. I always wondered how long they've been in this line and will continue to be.

And yet, having said these, i am glad i took the path "less travelled" (haha pun so totally intended) from some of my pals. A girl, an engineering field, backpacks, a job that requires travelling, a homely girl shuttling to places.

Can anyone fully say that their life is brillant? Have we all consumed ourselves with work, with meaningless things that the only brillant thing u possibly own in your life is that diamond ring you're working towards to get either for yourself or that special one in your life.

Yes, i might be blabbering. To many, i might still be pursuing the dream that many wanted and gave up along the way. To many, these thoughts are only meant for the dreamers, the unrealistic romantics, those who only dream, think and lack the courage to go about being different.

Yes, i might just be blabbering, but i'm glad, i have not conformed. Many possibly just resign to work and then take things as it comes. Along with being that, i still have a small little dream. A simple dream, which seemingly is becoming complicated with today's world.

but still, a dream is better. A fantasy keeps a soul alive. Being nonsensical is better. It makes me feel young.

May i never lose sight of a dream.

So, what's in your bag?

Remember how you read articles about what people find in their bags?

How, some people can judge, have an idea of who you are by just looking at the contents?

Well, here's what you get in my everyday bag. i'll leave u to decide if the contents does me justice. Haha.

1. Laptop, coupled with the power adaptor of cos.
2. Organizer, stuffed with Cds in their Cd sleeves, name cards, Receipts, Rubbish Rough papers, Tickets all cluttered inside. Yes.. so much for being organized
3. Two mobile phones ( 3 sim cards), phone charger of cos
4. bluetooth (that's perpetually not functioning when i need it becos it's accidentally on most of the time, unknowingly)
5. Earphones
6.Moose
7.entry pass, on my hyper striking MGM lanyard
8. Plastic bags for me to throw up. ( i was kidding). I always carry plastic bags for me to contain my sea shells. (yar... actually i cant quite explain their existance)
9. waterbottle (dehydrating environment)
10. passport and wallet in another small bag in the bag
11. alot of little bits of rubbish, like rubber bands, pens
12. digicam

so, what's in ur bag today?

So, what's in your bag?

someone from somewhere

Ever feel that nothing you do seem to make yourself feel better? That the more you want something good to happen, the greater your expectations the worst you feel? Like, somehow, it's so much easier to lower your expectations, to feel a tad at peace with yourself and others?

Sometimes, when things are beyond your control, when your're not too sure what went wrong, when you had to come up with reasons to explain the situations.. it gets to a point that you're just exhausted of repeating. Exhausted in figuring out the meaning.

I wish sometimes, someone from nowhere can enlighten me. Yes, nowhere, cos you will be surprised to know how in certain occassions, its' easier to relate to a stranger than someone you know. Give it to me in a pure-simple, "out of the box" solution. A definite answer. A closure.

a delayed entry--meant for last night

It’s interesting to note, how this entry is started. I am writing this on the transit train just as we speak. I just finished my course for today and I’m the only one heading back to the house today. First time traveling around in KL… wanted to call up some KL friends I made over the last Brunei trip. Yes, abit strange that I made KL friends in Brunei but I guess that’s how the world goes now. No one is restricted to their own island, and it’s becoming a global village.

Like I was saying, I called one of them and they weren’t free. My options were very much limited due to the fact that both my mobile battery were running low. I was contemplating if I should go visit my relatives who stay near KL since it was 5 plus and I could do with some sightseeing, since I’m alone to explore. hehe, I could even try out the rollercoaster at Times Square Shopping mall! But sigh, the fact that my mobility is highly constraint by my mobile services resulted in me going back home just in case the battery is empty and I could not reach my colleagues. Never underestimate the power of your mobile phone in a foreign place.

Anyway, I was surprised how my senses sharpen when alone in a foreign environment. True it was not my first time taking the route back home but somehow, when u queued up alone with the rest to purchase your ticket, waited with the rest for the subway to come, observing the people around you, everything seems a tad more “alive”. No longer are they background to you when u and your friends were yakking away on the train. Instead, you seem to be background just observing the sights presented before you. It’s the surreal feeling that “you’re not there, but just observing things from another place”. You somewhat feel you’re in a different realm even tho existing in the same physical dimension. Haha, am I making sense? Just some thoughts in my head. Typing this out as my express transit make its way back home. Whizzing past the greens and lakes, I am at peace.

Well, I should be reaching my stop soon. Think I should start shutting down my lappie before I look like a pathetic sight juggling with my bag, my ticket and the lappie.

Going to meet up with my KL friends tom! =)
Hope they take me to some interesting places!!!!