A Moment like this

It's my shutdown again.

It's period like this when i often feel i want to make the most out of my free time. I will have options like the below.

a) Gym so that i make full use of my package
b) Library as i really need to read to feed my brain
c) Errands, like financial planning, clearing room, clearing my brain
d) spending with loved ones, wanted to ask mum to tea but forgot she was working, wanted to ask in-laws but they had a heavy lunch
e) Shopping? However, since i'm going HK this thursday, it seems too much to start shopping now, tho i eventually did get a bag. ( oopsie)

So, having done none of those and thought all of those, i came back home feeling tired. Yes, i believe all these thinking and having done nothing actually makes it more tiring, than to have just give myself time to rest, to relax, to not worry about wasting time.
One should not have to worry about all these... especially on a shutdown.

So, i'm actually feeling alit liberating, and i set to clear my list one step at a time...

Side note: i'm really excited about going to HK!

2 months since I last posted and I had problems remembering my password. In today's world of iPhones, it seems the only password u need to remember is your pass code to the phone. And if you didn't even set that, congratulations to password-free situations when u access your emails, Facebook... What else? Oh wait, that's what most of us use anyway.

I have been wondering and have even vocalized my thoughts of doing something else other than work. And when I see "signs" present themselves along the way, I just took a glance and not act. Partly because, certain presumptions have taken place during that short few minutes of ... " what if?. And yet, I do know because no actions were taken on my part, it's not resolved and it keeps coming back to me.
Ah... Life. I wish I had written more of what I did for the past 3 years rather than just what I thought. Somehow, I had problems recalling.
What strikes me tho, was kid read. Was the activities I have set forth... Diving, climbing, travels, books.
What happens when u do not have any wish list like that? A product manager at work commented I am romantic at heart based on my desktop wall paper. The house by the lake/ ocean in a really blue setting. Could have been dawn or dusk, it's up to one's interpretation and mood.

Watched a show that brought back bitter-sweet memories. Things of the past actually.jolted at my heart for like..2 days and it's back to normal. ( not sure if its a self-mechanism) that kept it away, or like that show.. We are all at ease with contentment of how events have unfolded since.

Going hong kong!

Random thoughts ending.

Life married

I think the last time i post, i had not gone through the customary wedding ceremony. So technically, although we were married, we have not stayed with each other. Looking back, it's close to 4 months since we held our banquet at Marina Mandarin and wow, looking back, i think time passed really fast.

Strangely, it's also a time of more reflection as both of us get used to each other living habits. I wont say it's all rosy but ultimately i still feel blissful in the knowledge we are learning more and adapting about each other's quirky habits, emotions and thoughts as we started sharing a common space.

As i've grown to more obligation, with "wife" added to the list of existing roles " Daughter, Sister, Friend, Colleague" , let's not forget " daughter- in law" and him taking on the role of "brother-in law" to 3 other siblings and a son to my parents; there are ultimately adjustments, considerations, which i tell myself not to forget and take for granted.

And maybe in doing so, something i wonder if i have forgotten about... me as an individual. I seriously doubt so since I am putting my thoughts in to it, but it can be easily neglected and in place, is frustrations when one failed to see why one feel inadequate, yet, often it's the multitude of roles all rolled into one that adds up to this frustrations. Hence, i tell myself i must learn to allocate time to myself, to get used to it, while not taking too much of it, which may indirectly affect others.

There are a couple of things on my mind. Things which i thought i want to set about doing and often more than not, it just get chucked aside. When i was single and attached, i tend to be more stubborn in self centric in the actions/ plans i made. And now, i see myself overly concerned. what an irony.. so i thought i should put it out.

a) Sky diving in New Zealand. Mt Cook preferably, if not fine with other sites in NZ.

b) Setting up a Vickers account. Seriously, this one doesn seem quite feasible cos i'm not going to follow through, so i might just strike it off

c) Get my photo book done. But then again, i worry about too much stuffs which is already crowding our little room.

d) A holiday with my parents. I have brought them travel ever since i've started work, or at least anywhere really decent, so i kinda want to bring them on a short trip.

e) Saving money. Well, i do feel the urge to do that more now, even though there's nothing really pressing i need the cash for. I'm glad, cos i really need to exercise more self- restraint in this area.

f) Fitness? I target to be more focused in yoga, in over-all well being. Seeking a balance in my diet, beauty regime ( at least to really start focusing on clean, tone, moisturing .... i can so feel the "Gasps!" coming my way, that i'm still not disciplined in that area).

g) An overall organized mindset and physical on-take in various aspects in life, my room, my work area, my social life, my marriage life.=)

h) by the way, i'm blogging this on my Macbook pro which hub got for me. So, i rreally need to learn to make full use of this baby. There's so much functions.

i) Last but not least, to grow with my hub. It easier to lose track of what's important when you see people around your age doing certain things, which kinda influenced one to think, "yes, this is what you should do, this is what's next, this is the path", but ultimately, we should remember, the marriage is two of us, not what others set of us. We should be comfortable with where we are, where we want to go, and how we want to go....
"In health or sickness, in richness or poor, for better or worse" we will stay by each other. This is probably the only commonality, standard set for marriage.

Post-Wedding- Beginning of the End

I know i haven been one diligent bride who posted updates, progress of the wedding preparation despite being one who loves to pry on others' updates. Reading other brides' adventures, troubles, joy in choosing, from the dress to the theme to the schedule.

I have seen my bride-zilla self surfaced several times, unknown to many except for the closest. I feel bad, and even till now, there will be times i look back and regret my actions, regret my stuborn streak, and thankful they stood by me.

It's times like this, i need to really pen this down, so that i will remember, cos to me, these are the things i want to keep close to my heart.

It's true... after the whole wedding, as you look back, you dont care about the colours of the table cloth, the colour theme. It's the faces, it's the gestures, the speeches, ( words of love), the tears, the laughter ( emotion of love), the joint effort of the brothers & sisters.

I'm so glad we had the special march in, i'm so glad we had the luxury of arranging helpers room and have our helpers ( our sexy back group) stayed overnight with my family, such that we were able to relish the last evening's activites, jokes,little happenings via breakfast in the morning. Going through the highlights together in the comfort of our suite. To me, that's bliss.=)

I'm thankful everything went so smoothly during the wedding, love the compliments i have gotten from my dresses, love my entourage! Love all the speeches, love the little flower girls.

I'm thankful, and now, i'm looking forward to really settling down with my husband.
There's another found meaning and knowing we are now linked togher more than ever.
We plan with each other in mind. I love that. I love how understanding he has been. And i really need to put this down in words, because i know it wont be long when i will lash out at him. My poor hub.

I love that he respects my decision, even though they may be costly and wrong. I'm unable to put it into words how thankful i am for him. How, i have mishandled situations in this wedding and how he has put things right, even though i like to be the one who claimed the credits. Shame on me.

I hope we will continue to grow strong as a couple.

( side note: cant wait for the professional actual day pics)

For the special folks in my life

Create your own free invitation card

Wedding blues

It's been some time since and I came here & to think the blog would be something about wedding blues- one of the rare few bouts actually.

Many thoughts running through my mind- mostly negative, making me feel worse about the way I handled the situation this morning at breakfast.

Before I read back and forget what this post is about, no, it's not about Allan and me. It's about the wedding cakes. Rather, the wedding snacks/ treats which the bride's family would request from the groom's.

It's actually a really small matter if you asked me, hence I wondered how it got blown up of proportions and how it affected me more than anyone else. I believed, my parents would have sorted this after I head to work. They may be pissed with each other but not for long, as the two will head towards the kopi-tiam to meet their breakfast pals.

I guess what bothered me was: me assuming I am of no wrong, assuming the cakes were their duties when I chided my mum for trying to segregate her half from my dad's. Isn't it the same?aren't we a family and should take responsibility for each other?

Another thing, how relatively laid-back my family ( me includes) is compared to allan's. The stark comparison was revealed to my mum this morning and I can't help but feel she does feel the pressure with each day. And yet, while trying to be understanding about this, I too, have another school of thought- aren't people around me supposed to relieve me of whatever stress I have? Gosh, talk stressed because I'm not stressed. Stressed because of the apparent easy attitude and worried the looming hiccups that may happen because of my overlook.

I feel better writing this out, releasing some thoughts and negativity. At least i think I can wear a half hearted smile now and take in more as I prepare to reach work.




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Pray for patience

My first post of 2011 and the first word I use in my blog post: pray.

Since I'm not exactly the most religious person around, I'm somewhat starlted by this.

Praying to me, is very individual. You whisper a prayer, u keep it within you, sending the message up to some greater powers above, willing it to come true seeking strength from the knowledge that heaven is listening.

I like to think, it's a commitment. It's something personal but you're sharing it with someone you seek to be greater than you and in so, it add importance to hold on, to stay focused and ultimately believe it will fulfil.

I remember the story of evan almighty. When one prays for patience, does one actually receives patience? Or the opportunity, where patience is tested? I think I have been trial a few occassions this year, and yes, while I know it's only the 3rd morning of the brand new year, I can't help but think I've started on a slightly wrong note.

I need to be more understanding to the hub. He's trying despite not looking that way. He has displayed more patience towards me when my angry words lashed out, often without consequences. And when I feel he has the chance to lash back at the same thing i was angry about, nope, he did no such thing. Well, maybe he didn't realize that!

My point: I need to be patient, to understand, to be there and not just be "fair" .

Sorry hub, you're probably surprised reading this, knowing ur chilli padi spits fire and hardly there to cool things let alone, apologize when everything is now fine.

:) hugs :)




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